You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's shark week go big or go home
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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