She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
