God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
