Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
