if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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