haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
we're so committed to being not committed
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
