you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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