Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I am spending my child support on dildos
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
