Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
