He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
