It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize