In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
