YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
