are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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