What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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