hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
