yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
