just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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