Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize