good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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