Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
