The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
