her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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