Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
