Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Can you return condoms to CVS?

(516): View more from New York

Only if you return your pride as well.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

People in love make me want to vomit

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog

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(519): View more from Ontario

Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?

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(914): View more from New York

You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.

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(407): View more from Florida

Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING

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