I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
