does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
