We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize