Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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