It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
