Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
