dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
