Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
