Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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