She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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