you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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