the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
