Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
