I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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