Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
