I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"