Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?