Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.

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(224): View more from Illinois

update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.

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(682): View more from Texas

He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.

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(514): View more from Quebec

all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something

(1-514): View more from Quebec

how did you graduate high school

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(925): View more from California

Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

sorry? thank you? I love you?

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(540): View more from Virginia

Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?

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