i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
