sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
no you cant smoke seaweed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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