She's JV to your varsity
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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