Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
