my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
