we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
YAS. BRING CRAB.
did i just pee glitter
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
