would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
