We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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