Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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