My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
