Three words: puerto rican gang bang
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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