If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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