so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
