You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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