he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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