Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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