Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize